The Painful Coping Strategy Of Promiscuity for the Scapegoated Daughter

It's common for the daughter of a narcissistic mother to feel deeply traumatised and like she doesn't have any worth. She may deal with her need for approval and connection by engaging in the self-destructive behaviour of promiscuity, which reinforces her belief that she is not worthy of love. To be emancipated, she has to do a lot of work on herself to reject her mother's illusions and rebuild her true self-esteem.

One child is often unfairly blamed and made to be the "scapegoat" in homes where one parent (usually the mother) has narcissistic personality disorder. The narcissistic parent criticises, blames, and abuses the child who is used as an excuse the most. The "golden child" position may be given to the other children because they are liked.

The scapegoated child goes through a lot of pain and trauma as a child growing up as the target of a narcissistic parent's anger and contempt. They take on board the narcissistic parent's insulting and degrading words and start to think that they are flawed, unlovable, and not good. This hurts their self-esteem a lot and makes them feel terrible shame.

The scapegoated daughter may turn to promiscuity and dangerous sexual behaviour as a self-destructive but normal way to try to feel better by finding approval, connection, and short-term comfort for their hurt mind. Here is a more in-depth look at how this unhealthy way of dealing can form:

The Trap of the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

When a narcissistic mother constantly calls her scapegoat daughter names like "worthless," and "a failure," and attacks her appearance - the daughter may unknowingly take these mean thoughts about herself as facts. This turns into a self-fulfilling promise because she acts in ways that support the identity she has been taught to accept.

The scapegoat may become stuck in a circle of promiscuity that keeps her going. Because she thinks she is nothing but rubbish and an object, she uses her body and sexuality to get attention and short-term feelings of approval from others. This surface-level plan will never get to the root of her feelings of low self-worth, so the unhealthy pattern will continue.

Looking for the Love You Never Got

The daughter who is being blamed probably also wants to feel loved, accepted, and respected, but her narcissistic parent doesn't give her those things. She may be trying to fill this emotional hole in her mind by trying over and over to get her mother's approval, which she was never able to do.

In the short term, living a promiscuous life may seem to scratch this itch, as the occasional rewards of sexual attention can provide hits of fake connection and reinforcement. But this way of living isn't really helpful because it leads to more self-punishment in the pointless quest for self-acceptance.

Until the scapegoated daughter can get over the shame and self-loathing that her narcissistic parent put on her, she is likely to continue to do things that hurt herself, like being promiscuous. To move forward, you need to do a lot of inner work to reject the matriarchal images, learn to be kind to yourself, and build a new self-concept based on real self-worth.