"Life Lessons: What Would I Tell My 16-Year-Old Self?"

As the scapegoated child of a narcissistic parent, what would you say to your sixteen-year-old self?

If I could go back in time and tell my 16-year-old self these things, they would help:

Dear 16-year-old me,

I understand how hard things are now. You feel useless and unloved because your mother constantly criticises you, gets angry, and plays mind games with you. You think that if you were just better, smarter, or more attractive, she would finally like you and the abuse would stop. The truth is that her behaviour has nothing to do with you.

You are the child that a narcissistic mother blames for everything. Because she has a skewed version of reality, she has made you the "black sheep," the person who carries all of her bad feelings and flaws. It won't matter what you do; she is the problem, not you.

Now that you're 16, the manipulative mind games and tricks that all narcissists use have you completely confused. There is no lifeboat in sight as you drown in a sea of self-doubt and loneliness. But I'm here to give you a hand and tell you that things will get better.

Do not give up. Things that have happened to you are very wrong, but they won't last forever. Soon, you will be free from her poison. Focus on your schoolwork and lean on your father for now. Know that just by making it through with your authenticity, you are already showing a lot of strength.

It won't be easy, but you are stronger than you think at 16 years old. Keep your dreams alive. Always have faith in yourself. You'll be able to give your inner child the love and approval you've always needed one day when you break free.

Take it one day at a time for now.

Love,

Your future self